I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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