Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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