The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
