I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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