i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Randomize
