I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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