I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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