Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
