Is it normal to miss your booty call?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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