Sry I called you an 8
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
