Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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