I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
