So drunk its hurt
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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