apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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