whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
