im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
