you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
