My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
