bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
