How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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