He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His nipple licking is glorious
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