did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
