Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
