I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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