Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
