so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
