This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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