he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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