do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
