I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
