Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fuck appropriateness.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
