sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
