I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
