Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
