He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
