so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
