I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
