I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
