I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
