I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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