I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We left the knife in your bed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
