Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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