if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
