My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
