I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
