I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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