I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
