I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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