This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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