Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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