you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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